Trusting in His Plan

I'm frustrated and confused. I have so many questions, but not many answers.

My running has not been where it should be or where I have wanted it to be since December.

I can say it's due to the medicine, I can say it's due to my weight, I can say it's due to my shins, I can say it's due to my iron...but there are no excuses. I have put in so much work, but have seen no results. Honestly, I feel like I'm getting worse with each run. I don't feel strong, I don't feel fit, I don't feel fast.

Praise God it does not end there!

The closer I grow to God, the less value the things of this world have to me. I love running, and it is very important to me, but it is not where I put my hope. If it was, I would have lost hope long ago. If my hope was in running, I would have an ever-changing hope because it would depend on my performance. My hope is in Christ. It is unchanging and is not based on anything I do, but on what He has already done.

I put my trust in God. I know there is a reason for this stage of running I am in, and even though I can't see it, I know it is best because I believe God's will is always best. My desire is for Him to receive glory. He can receive just as much glory from me as a slow runner as He can from me as a fast runner. I know He has a plan for me, and what my body is going through is a part of His perfect plan.

I'm so thankful that my identity is not found in my running, and my worth does not come from how fast I run. My identity is found in Christ, and my worth comes from His righteousness that has covered me because of the sacrifice He made for me.

Even though I am not running as fast as I want to be despite all the work I am putting in, I am thankful that I am able to run. It is only by God's grace and strength that I can run everyday. His grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in my weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ's power may rest on me...for when I am weak, then I am strong. I can rejoice when I run into problems, for I know that they are good for me-they help me learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in me. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart!

You give and take away, but my heart will choose to say, "Lord, blessed be your name!" Blessed be the name of the Lord!

With all of that said, I have my first outdoor meet Saturday at Rhodes College. I am running the 5k at 10:00am. I am not confident about racing. Honestly, I don't want to race because I don't want to get even more discouraged, and I don't want to disappoint my coach and my team. But I will race with my whole heart and give everything I have, for my running is for God and He deserves my best. I pray that He will be glorified in my race and that others will see Him through my running.