A few weeks ago I heard a sermon preached on Revelation 2:1-7. In this passage, Jesus, through John, addresses the church in Ephesus. He praised the good things they were doing: working hard, patiently enduring, testing men claiming to be apostles, not growing weary. However, he had one thing against them: they had abandoned their first love.
This passage made me examine my own life and the church. It scares me that I can be doing great things that are pleasing to God, yet be far from my first love. I can be religious, yet not truly love God. I think that many times, like the Ephesians, I try to substitute my love for God with moral purity, service, and knowledge, yet these things mean nothing if I have abandoned my first love. If my love for Christ is lacking, my love for others is also lacking because "horizontal relationships depend on your vertical relationship with God" (John Macarthur). So, when Jesus is not my first love it not only affects my relationship with Him, but also my relationship with others.
What is my motive for things I do? Do I serve as a result of my love for Christ or because I just see it as a duty? To be honest, my love for Christ is not where it should be. My passion and fervor for Christ have become a cold service of performance and duty. I have found the Christian life to be a roller coaster with ups and downs, twists and turns. My love for Christ is a part of this roller coaster, unfortunately. Sometimes it's up, and other times it's down. Fortunately, I know the lows aren't permanent. Jesus offers a solution to returning to Him: recognize where you have fallen from and repent.
Abandoning your first love is a slow process. It doesn't just happen one day. It begins when we start making compromises, justifying "small" sins, and putting things in our lives before God. Fortunately, returning to God is not a slow process. All He asks is for true repentance and for us to yield to Him. However, remaining close to God takes work. Like any relationship, growing closer to Jesus takes time: time in His word, in prayer, and in stillness before Him. Being devoted to Him means giving Him control over every aspect of your life, following His leading, and serving Him.
I don't understand why, but God is so passionate for me. He wants me, all of me, in spite of my weaknesses and failures. Despite the many times I have turned from Him and done things my own way, He still pursues me and loves me. Oh, the joys of an intimate relationship with my Savior. May He restore to me an overflowing love for HIm as I seek after Him!
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing your heart so beautifully! I can absolutely relate to what you are saying. In fact, just this morning I read something that convicted me, and it goes along with what you said:
We don't serve God out of guilt or fear or even duty, but out of joy, and deep gratitude for what He has done for us. We owe Him our lives. Through salvation, our past has been forgiven, our present is given meaning, and our future is secured. In light of these incredible benefits, Paul writes "Because of God's great mercy, offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to His service." Romans 12:1
Love you!
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