It is ironic to me, and probably many of you who know me, that I struggle with binge-eating. I am graduating in December with a degree in nutrition, plan on getting my M.S. in health promotion, and want to become a registered dietitian. I know a lot about healthy eating. I know the benefits of eating healthy and the consequences of not eating healthy. I know what my body needs and I know how to take care of my body. I want to motivate others to eat and live healthier lifestyles. So why do I, someone who has so much knowledge about health (I still have much more to learn) and has a passion about the health of others, struggle with a habit that is very harmful to my health? It's not the "how to" I have been missing; it's the "want to"... really wanting to make changes and deciding that the results of those changes are worth the sacrifice, really wanting to turn from this evil habit and turn to obedience to Christ.
In Matthew 19, a rich man comes to Jesus and tells Him that he has been following all the rules, but wants to know what he still lacks. Jesus tells the man to sell his possessions and give to the poor and to follow Him. The man goes away sad because he won't give up the one thing that consumes him (Matthew 19:16-22). This story isn't just for people who have a lot of money; it is for any of us who are consumed by something other than God. I have to admit that I have been consumed with food more than God; I have craved, thought about, desired, and taken comfort in food more than God; and my struggles with food have kept me from following God. Just like in the story about the rich man, God wants me to give up anything that I crave more than Him and to follow Him.
God made us capable of craving so that we would have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone. In order to change, I must make the choice to redirect my misguided cravings to the only One who is capable of satisfying them. Overcoming my struggles with food is not just about changing physically; it is also about changing spiritually. I cannot change myself, only God can change me. But I have the ability through His strength to make choices that honor Him. Through much prayer, God has given me the "want to," the desire to change and to give up my bingeing in order to follow Him with an undivided heart.
*Some of these words are not my own. They have been taken from the book Made to Crave.
1 comment:
Loren Bruce, I just want you to know how much I admire you. You have this challenge, and instead of hiding it, you unashamedly proclaim it so that others can hear/read and be blessed by it. We never know why we go through certain things, but trust that He knows the bigger picture. Because of your struggles and triumphs, God can use you to help others. I love you so much and it makes me sad to think of how little I've seen you this year. I'd really like for that to change. Love you, sweet girl.
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